


Baker Street Texts

by fancyday, tereomaori



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Drunk John, Drunk Texting, Gen, Sherlock Being Sherlock, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-03
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-03-26 14:52:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13860048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fancyday/pseuds/fancyday, https://archiveofourown.org/users/tereomaori/pseuds/tereomaori
Summary: Sherlock and John text. A lot. And in a number of peculiar situations.





	1. 1 - In which John is in Germany and there is a lot of drunk texting

**Author's Note:**

> Neither of us are native speakers, so please feel free to point out any errors.  
> Each chapter stands alone, there is no continuous plot. If the short chapters annoy you, please hit the "Entire Work" button. Enjoy:)

**SH:** Love you. 

**JHW:** You too. Greetings from Friedenfels. 

**SH:** That means “Peace Rock”. Are you sure this is right??? 

**JHW:** Good to know. Yes, I’m sure. I’ve checked. We’ve found some Prosecco in the fridge. Have a good flight:)

**SH:** Do not drunk text me, John Watson.

**JHW:** Nooooooo. I wouldn’t.

**SH:** Oh dear. I’m at the airport now, in case you can still process any information.

**JHW:** Cheers

**SH:** I’ve landed. On my way home. Not responding to any drunk texts.

**JHW:** Good. That’s good. Cant’ wait to see you. 

**SH:** Grammar already leaving you? Not replying any more.

**JHW:** Yes, you will. You ca’t help it. Friedenfels is amazing.   
**JHW:** Peace rocks.

**SH:** … 

**JHW:** See? Yoi won’t stop replying.

**SH:** Yoi has always been a horrible person. 

**JHW:** Yoi? Now whose the drunk one?  
 **JHW:** Yoi sounds… japaneses.

**SH:** And you sound like Gollum.

**JHW:** Gollum? That’s the… creazture riht?

**SH:** Oh god. 

**JHW:** Not the creature?

**SH:** Your Lord of the Rings knowledge is abysmal.

**JHW:** Nor azt all.

**SH:** Good night. 

**JHW:** How do you know wjo Gollum is?   
**JHW:** You asllep`?

**SH:** Yes.

**JHW:** No. Defintile not. Love thid village.

**SH:** Peace Rock?

**JHW:** Yes. Peace rocks.


	2. 2 - In which Sherlock doesn't think he's dying

**SH:** Finished.

 **JHW:** Right, half an hour till you get here?

 **SH:** Approximately. 

**JHW:** That’s good enough.

 **SH:** Cabs won’t take me, so maybe longer.

 **JHW:** Sherlock Holmes, what have you done?

 **SH:** It wasn’t me. 

**JHW:** Are you dying?

 **SH:** I don’t think so. 

**JHW:** Where are you?

 **SH:** Threadneedle Street.

 **JHW:** Coming.


	3. 3 - In which Sherlock's hands are tied

**SH:** Don’t know if I’ll make it. 

**JHW:** Ok

 **SH:** Heopfullly.   
**SH:** Can you comr zo the door with suitvase amd bags? 

**JHW:** I can do that…? Do we need to flee the country? Are you “not dying” again?

 **SH:** Yes and yes. Couldn’t type properly just now because hands were tied.   
**SH:** Not figuratively. 

**JHW:** Right.  
 **JHW:** When do I come to the door?

 **SH:** Now would be a brilliant time, John. 

**JHW:** You in trouble?

 **SH:** YES


	4. 4 - In which Sherlock does not say hello

**JHW:** Hi Sherlock. Here’s my new phone number:)

 **SH:** Thanks. All good here, not much time, you okay? All right if I only phone you tomorrow? Don’t say hello to Mycroft. Love. 

**JHW:** Thanks for letting me know you’re still alive. I’m fine, hiking was nice and even rather dry. Of course. Mycroft says hello:)

 **SH:** I do not say hello.

 **JHW:** I don’t think he expected you to.


	5. 5 - In which Mrs Hudson likes Legolas

**SH:** What are you doing? 

**JHW** : Watching “The Hobbit”. Alone. Because everyone else has gone to sleep.

 **SH:** Would never have happened if I’d been there. 

**JHW** : No, it wouldn’t. If you were here, we could watch the second part as well.  
 **JHW** : Going out now, but I won’t forget to take my phone this time.  
 **JHW** : Back.

 **SH:** And what are you doing now?

 **JHW** : Watching “The Hobbit”.

 **SH:** Again. 

**JHW** : Mmmmyes.

 **SH:** Which one? 

**JHW** : Part two. In the company of Mrs H.

 **SH:** Hudders like it?

 **JHW** : She likes Legolas… a lot.

 **SH:** I knew it. 

**JHW** : Yes, well. 

**SH:** Sleep well. 

**JHW** : You too. Have a nice day tomorrow. Love you.

 **SH:** You too. 

**JHW** : I think there’s going to be a thunderstorm. Sleep well.

 **SH:** I like thunderstorms. 

**JHW** : I know. I don’t. Love you.

 **SH:** Definitely last message: Good night. 

**JHW** : Good night.


	6. 6 - In which Sherlock is in Edinburgh

**SH:** Hello love, all good? I’m going to Mary King’s Close now, he might be hiding there. 

**JHW:** What is Mary Kings close? Yes, all good. How was the play? Who’s hiding? Take care.

 **SH:** It’s a creepy dark and narrow lane. The play was boring until a lovely murder turned up. The murderer is hiding. How was work?

 **JHW:** Good to hear you’re having a quiet evening. Work was fine, lots of chairs and tables to move for tomorrow's party. Mycroft says hello.

 **SH:** I am now looking for him in Holyrood Palace. Might have to go to Arthur’s Seat later. I’m texting you from the palace café. 

**JHW:** Why do you have to do this? 

**SH:** Police here are as bad as everywhere. 

**JHW:** Greg would be offended. You’re driving me mad.

 **SH:** Call me? 

**JHW:** Now?

 **SH:** Yes? 

**JHW:** Yes.

 **SH:** I am sunburned. 

**JHW:** No one gets sunburned in Scotland. Not even you.


	7. 7 - In which John might not come to the airport

**JHW:** We're all looking forward to having you back.

 **SH:** Looking forward to being back. 

**JHW:** I'll meet you at the airport.

 **SH:** I can take a cab.

 **JHW:** No need. Mrs H will lend us the car.

 **SH:** I see...

 **JHW:** And you're not driving, Sherlock.

 **SH:** I could never bring myself to deprive you of the pleasure of driving that car, John.

 **JHW:** That's very nice of you. Also you're a horrible driver.

 **SH:** Not true.

 **JHW:** Yes it is. You keep getting distracted.

 **SH:** Well. There are more important things than driving.

 **JHW:** But not _while_ you're driving, that's the point.

 **SH:** It wasn't my fault that the serial killer turned up. I couldn't help deducing him.

 **JHW:** In the middle of Piccadilly Circus.

 **SH:** Exactly.

 **JHW:** Causing the biggest traffic jam this world has ever seen.

 **SH:** No casualties, though.

 **JHW:** No thanks to you.

 **SH:** Well, you have to be good for something, don't you?

 **JHW:** Might not meet you at the airport after all.

 **SH:** Oh, come on, John.

 **SH:** John?

 **SH:** John?

 **SH:** Please?


End file.
